The Rock of Death
Just a few days ago, I found out a girl I used to talk to/hang out with/liked just got engaged.
Having known her, her situation with this guy and all that jazz...this is not a good thing.
What it was....she moved down south to be with her boyfriend (who had moved down there months earlier for a job.)
Prior to moving down there, she was really unsure about the direction she wanted to take in the relationship (which is where I came in), but ultimately decided to move down there to 'see how it goes'.
Well that was almost two years ago, and I had heard through a mutual friend of ours that she was unhappy, and told the guy she wanted to move back here to CT...so what does he do? Sticks a ring in a pizza box for her to find and pops the mother effing question.
Both him asking and her accepting are classical acts of cowardice. Now he gets to have his cake and eat it to...string her along and all that, and she was too afraid to say no to a miserable life because someone waved a $5000 chunk of stone in her face.
So even though she's engaged, she moved back here anyways just to sort things out.
Another conversation I had was with another girl when I was on vacation. I took a gamble and said "you're not very interested in getting married are you?"
"how did you know?" she replied. The truth is, I've become so familiar with this shit, that I can actually smell it on the person.
She's bound by the ring. Doesn't particularly want to be with the guy anymore, and has been putting off the wedding for quite some time now. I told her it would be one hell of a lot easier to just end it now, than 10 years from now when she becomes a career alcoholic and has 2.5 kids.
"It's not that easy"
Yes it is. Once people get past that uncertainty and realize that you can't go through life without hurting feelings and dashing people's expectations, AND that you are fully capable of functioning on your own, then that's really livin'.
I doubt she had taken my advice to heart, but I gave it a shot for good conscience.
I've sort of become an armchair counselor. It's an arena I once considered too personal to people for me to butt in on...but the other option is sitting back and watching people band-aid their relationship with a ring, and then a wedding, and then kids, and then more kids until one day they call Fleur's law office.
Having known her, her situation with this guy and all that jazz...this is not a good thing.
What it was....she moved down south to be with her boyfriend (who had moved down there months earlier for a job.)
Prior to moving down there, she was really unsure about the direction she wanted to take in the relationship (which is where I came in), but ultimately decided to move down there to 'see how it goes'.
Well that was almost two years ago, and I had heard through a mutual friend of ours that she was unhappy, and told the guy she wanted to move back here to CT...so what does he do? Sticks a ring in a pizza box for her to find and pops the mother effing question.
Both him asking and her accepting are classical acts of cowardice. Now he gets to have his cake and eat it to...string her along and all that, and she was too afraid to say no to a miserable life because someone waved a $5000 chunk of stone in her face.
So even though she's engaged, she moved back here anyways just to sort things out.
Another conversation I had was with another girl when I was on vacation. I took a gamble and said "you're not very interested in getting married are you?"
"how did you know?" she replied. The truth is, I've become so familiar with this shit, that I can actually smell it on the person.
She's bound by the ring. Doesn't particularly want to be with the guy anymore, and has been putting off the wedding for quite some time now. I told her it would be one hell of a lot easier to just end it now, than 10 years from now when she becomes a career alcoholic and has 2.5 kids.
"It's not that easy"
Yes it is. Once people get past that uncertainty and realize that you can't go through life without hurting feelings and dashing people's expectations, AND that you are fully capable of functioning on your own, then that's really livin'.
I doubt she had taken my advice to heart, but I gave it a shot for good conscience.
I've sort of become an armchair counselor. It's an arena I once considered too personal to people for me to butt in on...but the other option is sitting back and watching people band-aid their relationship with a ring, and then a wedding, and then kids, and then more kids until one day they call Fleur's law office.
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