Bud Light Lime

Like Miller Chill? Me either.

I have something against drinking beer out of a brown bottle lately, especially after the first of May.

Last year I was in the mood for something summery. I love Corona, but when I drink beer, I like to get drunk...call me crazy, and you'd have to drink a whole lotta Corona just to catch the tail end of the buzz, and frankly, I'd rather spend my money on three gallons of gas.

Along came the Chill, limey and salty. I convinced myself this was an awesome beer and made it the official beer of last summer after sucking a few down at a Memorial Day party....YES! I didn't need to add my own lime! Now I can drink on the go without worrying about my steering wheel getting sticky, and the smell of used lime peels all over a car in the hot sun.

But holy hell, Batman! that stuff is salty, and after four you're running away from the tortilla chips and headed for the drinking fountain, risking the contraction of herpes but the mirages are just too much to handle.

So anyways, I bought a six pack of the new Bud Light Lime. I hate Bud Light, and Miller Chill is overrated, but I gave the boys and girls at AB a chance, figureing a year had gone by since Chill was introduced, and the brewers probably got their hands on Miller's secret formula, brought it back to the lab, and did all kinds of fancy shit with bunson burners and bubbly viles of pink liquid until they reinvented the salty beer wheel and brought it up to the marketers who said "holy crap! all we have is brown bottles!" And they worked tirelessly to find a little old glassblower in Mexico to make them new bottles, or steal a few truckloads headed to the Corona plant.

Alas, none of that happened, they just added more artificial lime and like 6 tablespoons of salt. I drank three yesterday and started feeling like a raisin that slipped out of an infant's hand and fell in between the cushions of a musty Ford taurus.

Save your money kids, and go for Magic Hat's Pandora's Box variety pack.